His Promise, My Confidence.

Your promise still stands, great is Your faithfulness. I’m still in Your hands, this is my confidence; You’ve never failed me yet.

– ‘Do it again’ by Elevation Worship

 

 

This is my confidence…

But am I confident?

How positive am I that my Lord and Saviour would never fail me?

100%.

But like all humans, we err.

But God makes a way when there seems to be no way.

And we turn to flesh instead of the Spirit.

We revel in the carnal, feeding it till the carnal overflows.

And the spirit gets a drip drop.

Nothing like the pitter patter of the rain as it falls.

Oh no. Nothing like that.

 

Where do you think you are hiding, my child?

I see you.

In the darkness?

I see you.

In your sin?

I see you.

 

But you don’t see me.

I’m am here!

I’m right in front of you!

Why won’t you open your eyes?

Is the plank in your eye so large that you cannot see?

Are you blinded by fleshly cataracts that block your feeble flesh from seeing the one and only King… The True God?

 

Stop, my child.

Just stop.

Give your pains to me.

Give your sorrows to me.

I can heal you.

I can make you new.

I can make you whole again.

 

Just give me you.

Let me live in you.

Let me work through you.

 

Just surrender.

Do not doubt.

Do not fear.

Do not worry.

For I am making all things new.

I will never fail you nor forsake you.

I am always here with you.

Look! My hands are outstretched, but you do not reach out for me.

I’m always reaching out for you but you give up before you’ve even started.

 

 

 

Only Your Love

Your love is like no other

Nothing else satisfies

It flows through the deepest waters

It rests on mountains high

– “Only Your Love” by Kari Jobe

Your love, Lord, is eternal

It’s mystical, it’s faithful

When we are faithless

Our lives – a mess

This life – a test

Our lives – it’s best

We turn to you

The only True

Living God

Oh Lord

We’re nothing but dogs

Not worthy to sit at your table

Not worthy to be in your presence

For we are only but peasants

Pleading to be able to please the prince of peace

Living like priests but we’re nothing paupers.

But still you love us God

These lowly hearts of ours

That we give to others instead of to you

Over you we choose the idols and booze

Partying and lose-

Ing our selves in the carnal

Denying the Spiritual

But wait just a minute now.

You can run all you want

And no, God won’t hunt

You down

But he’s waiting…

How long will you run from the inevitable?

From His purpose for your life

That you now live in vain

Oh what a pain

That you think this is a game.

Oh please, don’t give me that excuse

That’s so over used

It’s not the right time

I’m to young to live for God

There’s nothing I can do for the Lord

Hmm… then I wonder why you were born?

“Used To Be”

Stand up for yourself, my friend
Breakthrough from those chains binding you
It may be a long, hard and strenuous journey
But with enough faith, you can persevere
If you lack faith and courage
And the convition to be yourself
Then
I wish you luck
I hope for that day you would find your inner strength
And see the truth of the situation
Your life is your life
Not mine
The most I can do is try to persuade you on what I think is best for you
Only you know what’s best for yourself
If you’re unsure, then think about it for a while
Then leave it alone
Trust me, the answer will come to you when you least expect it
Don’t let yourself become a victim to the benefit of others
If you need their opinion, that’s fine
But don’t let them order you around like you’re a messenger
And then get thrown away like last week’s toilet paper roll
If it’s something you feel you have to do then fine
But that day will come when you will snap like a twig accidentally stepped on
And people will feel your hidden wrath
They will feel your anger
Then will regret every wrong deed they ever did to you
Then
They will either
Remain the same
Go through the same cycle they did you, just with someone else
Or
They will apologize
Beg for your forgiveness
Grovel at your feet
And they will never be the same to you
So if you’re up for being used
Then that’s you
But eventually
That “to be used”
Will become “used to be”
And you will be free.

Day 3

The sad thing about it all
Is that my mother doesn’t know
Much about my personal life
Unless I tell her
To her, I’m the quiet, smart daughter
Whom she trusts
But the truth it
There’s so much turmoil in my life
She doesn’t know about my depression
My emotionally unstable state
The fact that it’s not in my nature to be bossed at
(I.e. I don’t like people trying to rule my life)
But she doesn’t overstep that boundary when it comes to my social life
I’m okay with that
I get to make my own decisions
I have that freedom
But I don’t abuse it
So what if I don’t go to parties?
What if I don’t like to dance?
What if I’m only fun when I know you like a best friend
It’s who I am
Don’t try to change me
But I guess things happen for a reason.
That’s life for you.

Innocence

So young, yet so old. That’s what Emily Baker is. Someone with a 6 year old body and the mind of a 30 year old who had seen so much. At the age of 4, she learned to read and write. She was ecstatic every time her parents came home so she could learn more.

All she needed was 1 year, homeschooled and she was ready to enter grade 8. Little Emily was a fast learner, and her parents took advantage of this. It was clear to them at an early stage that their child had a photographic memory, so all they had to do was teach her to read. It wasn’t much of a problem because of her ability to learn quickly.

In addition to her academic achievements, they also taught her how to be the perfect liar and how to wrap them around her little fingers.

At age 5, she was the richest kid on earth, even richer than Bill Gates. How she became this rich you wonder?

Easy.

She conned them.

As per request from her parents, she used her exceptional lying skills and photographic memory to con people as well as threaten them with information that she overheard. Before long, there were monthly deposits of over 100 thousand being deposited into various bank accounts by various persons.

The days after Emily’s 6th birthday were days she would never forget.

One morning when Emily woke up, she saw her parents missing. She searched the whole house until she got back to her room, completely lost and numb. Who would she go to now? Her parents were missing and she had no idea if she had any relatives or not.

Even though Emily had lost her parents, she knew that she had to continue living her life, with or without them.

At the age of sixteen, as Emily sat her apartment flat, she thought about her childhood days.

At the time, it seemed like lots of fun but when she really thought about it, her parents had been using her. She was just a puppet. In a way she was glad they had died, but yet she missed them.
Why, she thought, why use me? The only answer that Emily could come up with was that her parents were gold diggers. Why take advantage of a little girl with a photographic memory… no… Why take advantage of their own daughter just to earn money?

Emily was disgusted with herself after realising how her life had been. Picking up her phone, she called the bank and immediately donated money to various charity. Each charity foundation got ten thousand each. By the end of the day, Emily was at least 1 million dollars poorer than she was the day before.

And she was okay with it. After all, even though her innocence was taken away from her by none other than her parents, and she couldn’t take back all that she’d done, she’d do anything in her will to benefit others, and she’d continue doing it until the day she died.